But they were so vocal about girls with loose morals that Carla masturbated in shame. She began thinking of herself as one of those “loose girls.”...During this period, she dwelt on keeping herself pure for marriage which she hoped would end up with a minister of the gospel. It was to this end that she hoped for her strong sexual drive to be sanctified.The nineteen-year-old Brad Feller was a divinity student who had just become youth director. Feller appeared to possess all the attributes. Wide-eyed, Courtney stood as Matt raised her veil, took her in his arms and kissed her. Diana said I would feel it when she and Jeff married us. That must have been the understatement of the year, she thought as they broke the kiss to stare into each other's eyes."Oh, Matt," she whispered."Yeah, I know," he answered, simply.There were pictures, hugs, congratulations, more pictures, more hugs and more congratulations. All through it, though not touching, Courtney felt her husband standing. " And he smashed his fist down again.My self-pity vanished and I tried to comfort him. That failed. Realizing that stopping him was my first objective I placed my hand on his lap."Owww! He punched my hand."Ohhh! Sorry! I'm sorry Rachel! I... I didn't mean... Oh, I'm so sorry.The pain receded before he stopped apologizing.We put some ice on my hand and he seemed to calm down. We moved back to the couch, but didn't sit. I stood there in my royal purple Victoria Secret's laciest panties and looked. These spirited discussions, with her providing the zest in them, were often done with Jim present. While she berated me for wanting to desert her when she needed me, he just listened and smiled smugly seeming to enjoy my embarrassment and torment.I often gave in and stayed after being browbeaten by her that I'd be less than a man if I didn't stay around while another man fucked my wife.To make matters worse, my wife didn't try in the least to restrain her loud cries of enjoyment as she.