From then on I was doomed, he knew he could excite me and loved to tease me with it. I quickly started to feel less like a girlfriend and more like a ...ex toy, particularly when he began making me give him blow jobs. I didnt know about submission at the time, but the feeling of serving and pleasing someone sexually definitely effected me even though he was a jerk about it. Naturally this lead to sex, which he gave to me as his present on my 16th birthday. There was no passion or pleasure, just. “So you said you’re sort of starting again.”“Yeah. Me and Joe. That’s all there were for a while. Joe needed to learn the bass. I had to figure out how to write songs. It took a while.”“How old were you?”“Seventeen? Joe and I had been best friends since forever. Belle too. The viola player in my band?”“Okay. Yeah. I know about her.”“That’s good. The girl thing right? Her and Claire.”“And Nigella. I thought that’s the coolest thing about the band. Half of them were women.”“I wasn’t trying to be. There is no way I’m getting off that easily. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.“Turn yourself over.”He commands from the other side of the room. Squirming, I try to turn around. The bindings making it difficult. Bucking, using my toes, searching for leverage. I try to flip. I need to flip. I want to please him.That inner part of me never quitting. I want his anger to be appeased. I want him to be satisfied. I want him to be pleased with me again. Grunting and panting, I try helplessly to flip. A few things thud. It was not the place for cuddling, so we dressed, and Hugo helped me back into the chair. Within seconds, several uniformed men walked into the room as if they had been watching, just waiting for us to finish. They did their salute “Heil Hitler,” and all started whispering. To my surprise, Hugo joined the men with no reprisal.My torture had begun, and no one had even touched me yet. As the metaphoric knife stabbed me in the back, I realized that Hugo was not being punished because they had.