"What? I suppose the one with the big tits," I said thinking about each of her three friends."Yeah typical man," she chuckled, "you always go for big ...its, well that's Janice, I'll tell her later when I ring her." No please," I yelled, "I wouldn't know what to do with her." Come off it brother," she scoffed, "don't tell me you're still a virgin." Well," I mumbled."You are," she yelled, "oh Janice is just going to just love it, breaking in a virgin." Please don't tell her," I called out."No. We did talk if but in short terse sentences from time to time. We did see each other around. It was what it was.It had been some months since the big man had made the unilateral decision, and without my knowledge, to get the legs for me. On the day that that he announced that he had in fact done so, I was trapped. We were supposed to be going to the store, him and me, and instead we ended up at a clinic. Imagine my surprise when we walked in—well actually I rolled in—and the medical team was. Davie had called during the week, and referred to our earlier cryptic conversation. "Were you referring to girls' tits, by any chance?" he asked. My heart leapt. I told him I was. He said he thought he knew what I meant now."You remember Claudia?" Did I! Claudia was Davie's girlfriend. Things had cooled off in the last six months or so, he said, until she called him on Wednesday night. Urgently!"What coffee does she drink?" I asked quickly."Shit, how would I know? Some Dutch stuff she found. In short, it was an Age of Reason to end all ages. And it was on a clear autumn day (October, to be precise, two days before Halloween, a celebration now restricted entirely to commercial and pop cultural relevance) that one particular student of Reason decided that the library was too stuffy that afternoon and opted for a convenient park bench as the ideal place for his studies, thus embarking on a series of events that would alter the course of his entire life. He sat with a stack of.