I mean a lot of women don't really feel beautiful being all swollen and out of shape, horny and unloved by a husband now hiding on an oil rig offshore...Aberdeen, thank goodness for the fact his daddy lived not too far off.There was a slight problem with that of course, there always is, he had a thing for me when we had first met, his wife, my husband's mother had past away about five years before and the night we came back to his, we had all been out drinking and in the taxi back, his daddy. Was there anything not to like about this Scandinavian hottie? I reached for her bag asking, "Such an interesting name, Bork. Anything to do with Bjorn?" That's Borg! No, I'm named after that Swedish chef on the Muppets. You know the one," she said, removing a meat cleaver she seemingly travelled with from her dusty backpack and swinging it briskly through the air, shouting, "Bork! Bork! Bork!"While I did have childhood memories of the scary Swedish chef, watching countless horror movies had me. ’ Recovering, I said, ‘Really, it’s no problem at all. Besides, don’t you think I’m hungry too?’ An hour later, we’d had a light meal, not so light drinks, and a lot of fun. We joked about people at work, our families, compared college stories, and laughed a lot. I think I laughed hardest at her insistence that she was really two people: Elizabeth, who was incredibly naive, let people push her around (figuratively), and loved to watch the sun set, and Liz, who did things she could never tell. I was feeling a little horny and did not want to disturb my wife so I let my hand snake down my body to my dick where my hands curled around it and I began to masturbate. It was about the best thing I could do to myself on such a night like this.Our bedroom door had been left slightly open by mistake. As I was enjoying a session with my dick I thought I could hear moaning coming from the next room. The only other persons in the house was my wife and mother-in-law and she slept in the room next.