Adopt a daunted expression. Pop the bonnet of the car. The bonnet is situated where the hood should be if the car was situated several thousand miles ...est. ,) Glance under the bonnet at the engine. Adopt an EVEN more daunted expression. These expressions only work correctly if the degree of daunt exceeds 80%. Have a cigarette. Coffee optional. Fetch the toolbox and open it. Remove the terminals from the battery and lift the battery off. Take the car battery indoors and put on charge. Swear when. I was invited because I was a friend of a friend and didn't get out much. Someone took pity on me. I was standing alone watching the men in shorts and t-shirts make pigs of themselves at the snack table, clutching warm beers and talking about ATVs, whatever those are. The women, who clearly had taken the event more seriously, had dressed up and were gathered in their own klatches, nattering about Coronation Street or Dr. Phil.I knew no one, so after some introductions, I was on my own. The men. ..with a smile . We got to the cabin and things where already going...one of the guys brought his dad's wake boat up and they where towing an inter-tube behind it. We unloaded our drink stuff and the food we where asked to bring. My wife said I should go help Aaron with the grill. Aaron and his wife both work where my wife does. He's a young guy maybe thirty two and Gail his wife is twenty eight. She is drop dead beautiful. And my wife said Aaron could have her pussy anythime anywhere. I sat. Me and a couple of mates from the club, Josh Blake and Tom (Shirley) Basset had gone back to Josh's flat, after Alex's had closed, to drink some more and watch porn. It so happened that Josh shared the flat with Alan/Alice, though I remarked that she was conspicuous by her absence. "Probably at Double Decker Derek's getting her arse stretched." said Josh. Shirley quickly added "… even more!" and we all chorussed, "Lucky bitch!" and screamed with laughter. We chugged some beers, and tried.