Perhaps because I realized I wasnt as strong as I thought. And perhaps because I knew all the time that I wont prove as strong as I thought. I turned ...y inward rage out as all escapist do when unable to confront themselves. I rose in anger and said"what barriers do I see? For one, you are married. Understand that? You are married and I dont want you to be a slut sleeping around. And second, I am committed in a relationship. Even though you may not care for your commitment, I do for mine. And. Please, Brad. Let me back in."I said, "I was going to say more. They all talked with me. They feel that I need to ease up. Carl referred to history. Uncle Billy referred to my grandparents. Carol told me a story of her screw up and how she eased up on the situation and found her happiness again. I thought about you on the trip there and back. Karen, I'm willing to work at getting us together."I smiled at her. She smiled back. For a moment, I thought she was going to come over the table. She. “I’m sorry.” Tara’s voice was soft and gentle.I didn’t know what she was apologizing for. Puzzled, I rolled onto my back and looked up at her silhouette.“I shouldn’t have teased you about the wedding dress earlier.”I looked up at her with a frown on my face. Inside my head, all the bits of my brain went still. I was blank – a completely blank piece of paper waiting for Tara to pick up her pencil and start drawing.“You worry about that, don’t you? You worry that you’ll never get married.”My eyes. I'll find a good one, justleave it to me, it will be my first job as PA!" No, it won't, because you'll have to show the Ainsworth guy around!" That's no job at all. I've got him right where I want him, well, I havehis wife right where I want her. I'm sure he doesn't even breath tooloud unless she says so!"----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o ----- o -----I came home late on Wednesday afternoon to find Anne, Mr and MrsAinsworth and another big guy with a blond crew-cut, sitting drinking teain my.