What was she trying to tell me? Had she developed a school girl crush on her next door neighbor? What impact could I expect from such feelings? None o... the answers to those questions were forthcoming, and the possibility of them being true was more than unsettling to me.Joan spoke very little the remainder of the morning, and when John returned from practice, she retired to her bedroom. John asked what was the matter with his sister, and I replied that I didn't think she was feeling well,. Once again I was overcome with tremendous anxiety and fear as I made the 5 minute drive to his house. As usual I had to have purposely driven past his house 3 times before I finally parked in front. I had told him online beforehand that I wanted him to take control and treat me like the boy that I was. The idea of this gruff daddy taking charge of me turned me on like you wouldn't imagine. I got out of my car and sheepishly walked to that same shed where my first encounter happened. He was. I hope youdon't feel like I've been leading you on." No," I sighed. "I never felt that." I was always dreading the day you admitted your feelings to me, and Ihad to come up with some lame excuse that would probably end ourfriendship. Luckily, you were too polite to press anything. You truly area nice guy." Well, it was probably more cowardly than nice," I admitted."Still. You never pressed me for anything, and I appreciated that."Silence."Come here. Sit beside me," she said.I went and. Forget it, I am just going to go for it. I mean, I am not giving up on my marriage to me. I’m just going to have fun and see where the night takes me. And as if the universe has decided this very moment was the time to prove it, Jamie knocks on my window. ‘Yes Sir? May I help you with something,’ I ask coyly. ‘Do you plan on staying in your car or are you coming in to have dinner with me’, he asks through a smile. That smile… I forgot what it felt like to have it genuinely aimed at me. I.