.. that's not exactly true, I saw my mom one night when she was walking from her bathroom to her bedroom, but that doesn't count.OK, here is the deal....I am 16, horny and a virgin. The normal teenager. So I have been trying for the last two years to get laid, without success. The closest I got to first base was when I was making out with Julie, one of my recent, "I'm in love with you honest," acquisitions from high school. One afternoon we were in my garage kissing and I got to feel her tits. She had had a boob job at eighteen, and liposuction on her tummy at twenty, and was at her present age of twenty four a spectacular brunette who still commanded substantial tips on the weekends. She had understood Joel's intentions when he invited her on this adventure, which she had looked forward to, so that they had been lovers for most of the cruise.The evening after they had found the old wooden schooner wedged on a steep fissure at about two hundred fathoms, they were watching the sunset. Hope you like to sweat I laughed nervously, not understanding what he meant. I had no idea what was to come Friday night. After a grueling first week I rolled up to my girlfriends Larrisas dorm room. I knocked gently on the door before entering the room. I could smell sweat and whisky before I even spied the scene. Imagine my surprise when I saw two girls under the covers. They giggled in acknowledgment of my presence. I stood dumfounded, taking it all in with my eyes. The curves, the two sets. That was trauma with a capital T! Once outside in the hallway, though, the medics gave them both injections to knock them out and shipped them to Medical for physical repairs. Mental ones, though ... I didn't know what was going to be possible.I headed up to Colonist Operations and made certain that the officer on watch had his crew on full alert and passed the baton properly to the other watches. If we hadn't managed to traumatize every male concubine aboard, we'd probably come damned close --.