But, Lena, have you thought it all through, you know, what this means for all of us?’ I shook my head and fixed him with my big blue eyed pout. Of ...ourse I hadn’t, unfortunately I rarely do think things through. That’s one of the reasons I go through such emotional turmoil all the time. Of course Mike had thought it through, that was obvious and now he began to explain what else he had been doing today. ‘I didn’t think so,’ he said laughing, ‘what about you Jo, have you thought about it?’. Even the thin nightgown was a no-go. "So you came up with water-soluble bathing suits?" Ingenious, no?" Not at all. She thought I did it, for obvious purposes." I didn't disclose my suggestion to Olivia that her mother was responsible. "She's colder to me than ever. And this morning, she's off bird watching-" And you didn't accompany her? Why, that's at least half a day of opportunity lost. Shame on you."Shame on me? Rianne was coercing me to fuck her daughter, and shame on me? "Olivia made it. Patriotic and comical all rolled into one. Viewers were probably tempted to salute. Oh, and of course huge floppy black shoes.The show included skits where Ruffles would get into convoluted situations with three sidekicks, Pappy, Slappy and Happy. The trio never came out on top, except if measured by the amount of seltzer water or meringue pie they absorbed during the show. And don't forget Flummox Falls, a stream of thick green goop that would envelop one of the three clowns at the end of the. I had hoped that that part of my life would remain…closed off, and private. I apologise for any offence caused, and hope that you can in time, forget or forgive it.” I shakily inhaled to steady my jangled nerves and continued. “This is a source of constant shame for me. I am not proud of these desires, these interests. They sicken me, and I wish…they’d go away. But please, don’t be afraid of me.” My voice caught in my throat, and damning tears of both impotent rage and frustration, sprung to my.