"I'm used to just being... dead," I settled on. "I don't do feelings. I don't trust them. I'm like a raw nerve around you. My instinct is to flee." H... stroked my hair as he spoke. "That's reasonable, but have you thought that I could also heal you? That maybe I'm the best thing to come into your life? You're so doped up on medication and clamped down emotionally that you call yourself dead. How much worse could your life possibly get, Alex?" I flinched. I hunched up like I'd been struck. . I'd succumbed. She was so like...I let memories drift back, memories I had cherished and agonized over, memories that had shaped my life. They came back in a rush, as if it was only yesterday, crystal clear.Mourners drifted away, smiling gently in sympathy, shaking our hands, and giving soft words of condolences. Alexis stood at my side, ramrod straight as if holding her body rigid would control her emotions and lessen the pain. Sorrow poured through me, heavy and unwelcome. Staring down at the. I told her not to worry about it, that I had had a wonderful time, and pulled her to me for a smoldering kiss.She returned the kiss as we ran our hands all over each other, got dressed, and went off to the kitchen to have breakfast with Jen (who had greeted us both with a large smile).Cindy and I had really hit it off, and she was wonderful in the sack and had a really sweetdisposition. Eventually we'd started to coordinate vacations and travel together. She was great to travel with, and had. However, the thought of another man of strong lust performing sexual intercourse with my innocent wife always arouses me.I remember vividly it wasn’t too long after our honeymoon, we went to a friend’s wedding/reception dinner party. Both of us drank liquor. I had a lot more than Casey did, so I let her drive home after the party. However, I didn't realize she had 2~3 cups of red wine, which was too much for her. Unfortunately, we got into a minor accident on the road; she hit the car in the.