The smells ofher meal were getting to me, and I hoped that I'd get some of her leftoverstonight…prepared the small bland meal that I was always allo...ed. Shecame down and I set her plate before her, pouring her wine and attending her.She smiled and ate, savoring the flavor. I know I'm a good cook, so I wasn'tworried on that score. She was about halfway done when she looked up at meand nodded, telling me that I could feed myself now. I took my meal and setit into the dog dish I was required to. .. well, you.“Everybody says things went well because I’m happy. I am happy. But I also have found something that I’d rather do than look over Stephanie’s shoulder or hassle Larry as he sets up the soundboards. The setup and tear-down in both places took half the time it normally would because I didn’t have my fingers in things I don’t really understand. You not only make my life better; you make the lives of the people around me better.”I offered a grateful smile but it didn’t quell my unease. Suddenly a frightening thought occurs, "How will you explain this to Ron or a doctor or anybody else?"Arriving at home after midnight she hobbles inside and very slowly climbs the stairs. After drawing a lukewarm bath she slowly lowers her ravaged body into the tub. Gratefully she finds that the warm water soothes a bit. So the night is spent thinking furiously and draining then filling the tub without getting out of it.However, when the sun rises while the pain has subsided no viable decisions. In one sentence he can have me trembling in fear that I will never be allowed in the comfort of his steel again but hopeful that he might give me a chance. I think he relishes the power he has over me, knowing he keeps me in suspense, frustrated and confused but oh, so overjoyed that he allows me a chance to try. I don’t think I can put eloquently enough into words all that he was and is to me or begin to explain the thousands upon thousands of hours that he spent with me, molding and shaping.