The dress wasn't in her closet.She had no earrings on when she was in the bathroom earlier, but she always wore her diamond studs with that dress. I c...ecked her jewelry box. The studs were gone. My wife had gone out allegedly with the girls, but dressed for seduction.It took me less than twenty minutes to find her. I never left the house. I carry just your basic cell phone provided by my employer, but she had an iPhone. I didn't want to spring for a replacement plan in case the iPhone was lost,. Then she started back up, doing that thing where she trails her hair over you and blows little puffs of cool air from real close. By now I'm about half-asleep. That's when I felt something strange. There's a mirror next to the bed so I can look, and the first thing I noticed was that this chick was buck-naked. The second thing was that she had her face buried in my ass up to her ears." What?" Ron said, leaning forward."Yeah. She was spreading my cheeks with both hands and I can't even see her. ’ And me – being the smooth operator that I am – went, ‘Um..oh, I don’t know… do you wanna go with me?’ Oh man, my stomach DROPPED. I was like, ‘fuck, I am just the biggest freaking loser in the ENTIRE world.’ (That was obviously in my head.) and he was all like, ‘I don’t have any money…’ I just blurted out, ‘OH I’LL PAY!…. I mean, I asked you so I should pay anyway.’ (Can we say desperate loser?) and he said he had to ask his parents and everything. So a week and a half later (and still no. "If these future surgeons are ever going to learn how to do surgery on people, we've got to get them more bodies to cut on." Well, Doc, - there's no more Indigents in the morgue, so we can't steal 'em from there." I don't understand - this is the year 1930 - there's a Depression on. You'd think more people would be dying." the Doctor, complained bitterly."What would you have us do, Doc — go out to North Union Cemetery and dig up the people who have died and been buried there recently?" Sure....