Who I was and what I was were closely tied to many things, but my ethnic history was a big one."She let him cry it out, and comforted him when he was ...one. When she had him calm again, she asked him what that information said about the dream, and what the dream said about changing him."If I try to stay who I was, a thin layer of a proud, ancient culture over a core of middle class white bread American, trying to change who I am won't work. It will only destroy what helps define me."Just then,. M., I could see to helping him out. I told him where to meet me, a safe neutral place very close to my house -- a church. I laughed at the idea of this. There is a certain degree of irony asking a guy to meet you in the parking lot of a church. Tom wrote back that he was on his way. He said he would email me when he was almost there.I changed out of my jammies and put on some jeans, a top and some flats. I checked my makeup and wondered what to do with Tom when he did arrive. I really hadn’t. ) walked in seeing the screen and said whose that with Mom, Dad? Not wanting to alarm him, I just said, someone she works with, JJ. He said, He kissed her, Dad. Why would a coworker kiss her? JJ is smarter than his years. What else could I say... ? He left the room and I kept watching the two as they strutted down the aisle hand in hand. Once they were seated at their table, the cameras would pan the crowd occasionally and I could see them with his arm around her with her smiling from ear to. She tells you. She tells you about how she had grown past him, how their priorities were different, that she wasn’t attracted to him anymore. After ten minutes pass and nobody shows up you invite her to coffee and she accepts needing someone to listen now more than ever. The morning blends into the afternoon and you cut yourselves open and allow each other a peek into what is inside. You talk about past loves and losses, dreams completed and those which were still being fulfilled. As the.