’ To my shock, she scooped up the project and stuffed it in a bag. It would never be finished. While she put away her sewing things, she muttered ab...ut trying to teach something to an ungrateful kid. I could only stand there, stunned. ‘Go on!’ she snapped. ‘Go read a book. That’s what you really want to do.’ In fact that was what I really wanted to do. Reading was all I had ever really enjoyed. But still, something like rejection flowed like ice water through my veins. I had done something. Despite having talked on the phone and various messages somehow telling you face to face is humiliating and embarrasing for me and i can feel myself blush, this causes you to laugh at me again. As i begin to tell you i feel myself shrink, losing control, feeling smaller and so insignificant.You look at me and tell me that you know what i'm feeling and that i now belong to you, i nod in submissive acceptance. I'm told to take off what little clothing i'm wearing and then stand up straight. You. They'd go up into the Sierras for weeks at a time, backpacking in the high country. They weren't nudists, and even brought swimsuits for when they bathed in the lakes and rivers, even though there was nobody but us for miles around. But they taught me everything they knew about surviving in the woods. I learned how to blaze trails, forage for food, make fire without matches, and stalk game. They were childless, and I became the child they never would have. I think that they really wanted a. He acted stupid the next few days, I said I never wanted to see him again, and I returned to what I was taught.And now I am premeditatedly going to Don’s place. And before he lays a hand on me – okay, he’s already been past the hands-on part – we’re gonna have an understanding.Cindy says that when she crawled into Dan’s bed, that was the marriage. She figured it out in the days that followed. Just like I figured out with Jimmy Dickson that it WASN’T gonna be a marriage.We walked in, I kicked.