Nobody gave us anything; we worked for it. If we got lazy, the ranch and our future suffered. If we put more effort into it, we could see the results ... short time later.The thing is we made it work. We had control over our lives, over our environment.My first slap in the face was losing Val. When he went on that survival trek and didn't come back and that damn Jimmy wasn't any help, I almost lost it. I found myself bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. And there was no way I could control. That's what I'm saying." Yeah, yeah, I get it that you're in your 'Will The Cheerleader' mode. You're keeping me from getting too high -- from setting up expectations for myself that might be crushed by the hard weight of reality." Crushed by the hard weight of reality?... Where did that come from?" ESPN, probably. I don't know. It just seemed to fit the mood you were trying to create. 'Don't get your hopes up too high, Tess!... What if you fuck up the first day, Tess? Shoot a 75. Then what?'". The trucks had to move, and move on time. The loads had to be delivered and delivered all over the state on time. And the one responsible for all that was me. I was the only one who directed the outrageously complex traffic of MTS. Every semi-truck breakdown, every flat tire on a bobtail, every misdirected destination for this or that van was my personal pain in the ass. The odd thing? I loved it. It kept me from thinking too much about my Rozelle and how much I missed her. But invariably that. I doubted I’d ever stop smiling, I had done it... !!Back in the stable Deke eased the trolley in position and had the straps loose moments later, Mirella helped me to my feet and let me go as I joined Laura, my hands cradling my Stallion’s head as I kissed him over and over until he did the lippy thing and Laura passed me a handful of treats.Everyone slipped away leaving Spirit and I alone. I took up a curry comb and began grooming him, talking softly, praising him, telling him what a wonderful.