But the more he kept at it, the more it felt like pleasure. Soon his whole finger was in. He crooked it slightly, and as he touched my prostate I felt...a shiver. “Oh, man,” I said. Steve took that as a signal. I felt a second finger at my hole, and with a push it came in beside the first one. Again, that mixture of pain and pleasure, again I managed to relax, again he slowly slid in and out. When I was fully relaxed he probed again for the prostate. My legs started to shake. “Bingo,” I. ”As he paused, Ellie started cheering along with a few people in the crowd. He turned and continued on.“In the red corner. Fighting out of Atlanta Kickboxing Academy and measuring 6’1” and weighing 225lbs, with a record of 14 wins and 6 loses, JED SILVERMAN.”The announcer exited the ring. We both approached the referee, who gave us a series of instructions. I’d been given most of it before backstage. The stuff I really needed to keep in mind - no elbows, no knees, and kicks above the waist. She washovering in the air, as inconspicuous as a mote of dust, invisible toeveryone; a thing without substance.Musical noises of a stone-age culture resounded - the hollow sound ofconch-shells and the screech of reed pipes accompanied by the soft bop,bop, bop of hands beating on primitive drums. And then other figuresbecame discernable, the images sharpening as a dozen scantily claddancers emerged into the halo of light before the imposing idol. In thegloom she could make out the pearly sheen. Nearly every one of our old friends is here in Chicago, except Mary and Josh, Marty and Tracey, and Larry. We’re all too damned close.”“You don’t mean that,” I said.“Sorry, no. I meant too close to see the problems. It’s not just you, Steve. It’s all of us. We develop these ideas that our odd behavior is just who each other are, and ignore the potential warning signs of problems. You saw some in Jess because you didn’t know her very well. I bet now it’s more difficult, though I know you are on.