‘What are you mumbling about Riley?’ ‘I was talkin about payback, gettin even. I want to be around to see her hurt, like she did to me. I want h...r to see how it feels to have your heart broken. I’d love to have a front row seat, when some guy hurts her. Man that would be sweet revenge.’ ‘You quoting Frank Sinatra now?’ ‘Huh?’ He questioned. ‘Sinatra’s song ‘I want to be around’, you know.’ ‘Yeah right, I guess, he answered. ‘Got to hit the head.’ Riley finished his beer and headed to the men’s. On a few rare occasions, I would climb up a rock wall outside of our bathroom when I knew she would be showering or preparing for bed and get a glimpse of her entire frame in all its naked glory. I began to plunder through her bedroom every chance I got to look for freshly worn bras and panties in her hamper. I will never forget the head rush I got when I first discovered her worn panties. I might as well have discovered gold! I carefully lifted them from her hamper, held them in front of me. " I know you're fighting your feelings, Michael. I can see the angst on your face. I've never before; felt the way I feel about you right now. I've had friends who were boys, and boyfriends, but you seem so gentle inside. Your eyes tell me that you may be feeling the same way for me. I can only guess the fight that's going on inside you." From the way you look at the pictures of your wife on your mantle. She must have been the light of your life. To lose someone, like you lost her, must have. The whole Drugstore Condo thing put me back in the mood to deal in Real Estate. I decided when Sylvia finally arrived I would indeed get back to it.I was all introspective while I waited for Sylvia. I was surprised to learn how much of our personality is nothing more than memory. The new me was a poster girl for the theory that we are the sum total of our past experiences. In my case it was the memory of those experiences that lived on. I thought that I was doing just fine. Since no one else.