John left for collage that Fall and I missed seeing and talking to him. I knew he would be happy and have freedoms he never had while home. For that...I was so glad for him. He returned for Christmas break and called and asked to come over. He greeted me with the most affectionate hug. As we hugged, our bodies melted together and for the first time, I felt his physical warmth and affection. We visited for a couple of hours. After he left my mind was confused. I tried to analyze what had. Please do not duplicate, copy, print, distribute or exchange this piece without the expressed written permission of the author.The thought of this day echoed through my mind like thunder. The only thing louder than that thought was the pounding of my heartbeat. I tried to closed my eyes relax and breath. I waited for what seemed like years before releasing myself from me. Was it a resignation to what was to come. I stepped toward the door and opened it. The street was bare, no movement as if. Her dark silky hair is impeccably straight today, the ends grazing her waist, and I immediately want to drop to my knees and show her how sorry I am for something I never want her to know. "Surprise," I reply, composing a smile on my face. "Come in," she steps aside, and I walk in and shut the door. "How are you?" she asks, walking into her living room, Red Hot Chili Peppers playing from her stereo. "Fine. You?" I ask, and follow her mesmerizing ass in those fucking pants. "I'm great," she. It was as if the removal of my freewill had in a strange way made it almost acceptable; that I had anexcuse so why not make the best of it?The poppers on top of the other drugs and alcohol made me lose myselfin my role as his girlfriend. I moaned and groaned and pushed my hipsback onto him as he fucked me; he got faster and faster as he nearedhis climax. I was so numb I felt like I could have taken him forever; Iwas tripping from the K.I knew he was ready when he roughly threw me onto my back.