My first reaction was to look down and check that my morning wood was covered by the thin sheet which it was however from where she was sitting she di... have a perfect view of it, she is never cheerful in the morning.At least she wasn’t mad which told me that I had got away with my exploits last night but why was she so cheerful? I came to the conclusion that I had left her in charge of my accommodation search.“Morning bro” she said cheerfully, “Made you coffee” she continued and put her hand on. Why are you having problems?”“It's not that – I mean is it possible that I'm doing it wrong?”“What do you mean?”“I try and try but it just doesn't seem to work. I don't know why but I just never get there”“Never?”“I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean it's supposed to be fun but I get so nervous and then... I know I'm doing it wrong”“Don't be silly it's not you – listen if you like I can show you a few things I've picked up that might help”A smile flashes across her face and she kisses. That was actually impressive to be that age. Not the size but the way it was not hanging too much, it was still firm and was forming a fine cleavage on her nighty V neck. Her skin color is not fair but not dark either, a latté skin It was.The way she was sitting, you should have seen it! The sun was touching her half-face. She felt the warmth on her face. I noticed her upper lip was wet from her sweat, her sharp nose was widening while she smelled the tea. Her one eye was shining back at me. I can't even remember her face, and I'm starting to forget her voice. I am a forty-year-old former Naval Officer, and I am stronger than this. I just need some time to be alone for a while. I'll keep writing in here, though because this does make me feel better.Nobody want's to hear me go on and on about the past. I can deal with her loss by myself. I'm just glad the kids aren't here to see me.Journal Entry Number Eight:Something's off, and I'm starting to get weirded out. The bright light I.