I smiled at him and said so does everyone else nobody knows my secret he then said my secret was safe with him and then bought me a drink, the more I ...rank the more relaxed and looser I became. He asked me about my first experience and if I had any fetishes or fantasy's I told him that I like to dress up like a little slutty whore when I'm alone and fantasize about being fucked by multiple BBCs. He was very intrigued with my fantasy and asked me if I ever thought about making a sex tape and I. ? There is no going back.? On the other hand I do feel sympathetic with Rachael Liu, that is the name of Michael's asian girlfriend.? I had just talked to her on skype and she said she completely understands what I am going through.? She said she used to be abused by her asian father, who never gave her any freedom, and she remembers when she was in high school, her father refused to let her go out with boys and forced her to study all the time, and her mother even used to smack her on. I always wantedto experience it but never did until now, and if felt AMAZING! And veryexhausting... I was slowly losing the battle for comfort, giving up thestruggling and accepting the strain, pain, degradation and humiliation asunavoidable and unchangeable reality. Quietly sobbing, I slumped in thechair fully accepting my place at the bottom of the world.The balcony door slid open, but I had no strength in me to react. Thesound of heels on the concrete. Gentle touch on my slimy cheek, wet. Well, Sloane, here we are. What are you going to do? One step forward or two steps back into the old routine? Time to make a choice.*The canteen was packed.All the tables and chairs were arranged in a circle around the outside with people already dancing or whatever in the center. At the far side of the room, a platform had been set up with a DJ in a Santa outfit enthusiastically bouncing behind his turntables with flashing strobe lights and glitter balls either side of him. Loud didn't come.