"Very nice mate," said the barman as in my total confusion, I held out mum's fragrantly damp g-string to him."But the gaffer would rather have two pou...ds, twenty pence in the till if you don't mind."If you've ever seen a traditional, red London double decker bus, you'll have seen the shade of red that mum's face turned into as I stuffed the panties back in my pocket and paid him with the other hand, as I'd intended to in the first place."I'll have 'em mate." laughed a voice beside me and. “Just had to knock the lamp over didn’t you” I said with a grin. She threw a pillow at my head and grinned back. “You know why I knocked the lamp over, you tease!” We began to stare each other down when our aunt intervened. “What did I just say you guys? That’s it Jackie you go back to your room and stay there and you mister you just stay right here and go to sleep!” “Yes Aunt Mary” we both said simultaneously. With that Jackie gave me a kiss goodnight and retired to her room with my aunt. Oh God, I had to face the Warlord while in the Program!OK, a little background on Mr. Carter, and on why we called him the Warlord, and on why I was now terrified. Mr. Carter's first name is John, and he was born on Mars. So he's "John Carter from Mars" or, if you like, "John Carter OF Mars." Not a big deal, in itself. Plenty of people have been born on Mars. Nearly a hundred thousand people live on that planet, and several times that many in orbit about it. However...Just two years ago, a. My stomach was upset and I was dizzy. Mom still seemed spry, and she watched the movie attentively. I leaned back, but couldn't quite get comfortable.The movie was showing a busy street somewhere in southern Italy. Opera was playing and there was a hard cut to doves being released from a cage."Are you comfortable?" mom said."Yeah, uh," I said. I sounded drunk. I was drunk."Oh, honey. Are you liquored up?" she said.I was embarrassed and a little annoyed at this question. It was obviously just an.