At least no one had seen the picture – or dared to ask probing questions, that is, although rumors started spreading like fire in dry grass. Most of...them about Kate having Rick 'by the balls'; not exactly what Rick needed to regain his pride in the environment of the male-dominated company he worked for. Each of this rumors caused Rick to crawl deeper and deeper into the pit of his mental anguish.On Thursday, Kate sent another picture of an anal probing device; this one almost forearm-sized in. After six months of shock and sorrow, my thoughts changed from "why me" to "what if." I found myself wondering if somehow I was responsible for Rochelle's loss of love.Maybe if I showed her more affection? My mind went into overdrive, and I remembered my most precious memories of her.I was on the verge of tearing up and, even though I wasn't a drinker, I felt the need for one or two. I was just on the outskirts of town when I noticed some bar lights up ahead and quickly pulled in. Walking. Hetexted that it would be worth at least five million quid.Nailed.The second wish was a little more altruistic. My sister, four yearsolder than me, had married a bloke who already had a girl with aprevious lass. A nice little thing she was, but leukaemia meant she wasall bones and big, staring eyes and it was breaking my sister's heart,so I wished that all the kids in the world with blood cancer would wakeup tomorrow without it. Too much the genie said, beyond him, he texted.We agreed, like. So, I'd long ago settled into providing for my own sexual entertainment and, while I'd rather have something entering me that had blood flowing through it keeping it hard and swollen, rigid plastic and my own fingers are the reality.Here I am, forty-four, single, as I've said, with two sons, Mike, twenty-three, and Andy, twenty-one.They both live on their own in the same area and they often come over for ahome-cooked meal. They know I like my red wine with meals and they always bring me bottles.