"I just want you to know how much I love you and I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you!" Colin's reverie had brought on an intense feeling...of protectiveness over his mother. She had gone through so much and he felt a burning need to keep her safe and happy for the rest of her life.Aileen rolled over to embrace him. "Shhhh...baby, I know sweetie, I know," Aileen said as she held him tightly in her arms. Tears began to stream down her cheeks. "I know how much you love me and I love. There was no point carrying the thing around all the time if she couldn't use the gun, and the knife. He would show her, or at least start to show her, how to fire the gun at these midday breaks. Then anyone who heard the noise, and decided to investigate, would find them gone. He didn't want to attract attention to their night-time camps.After they had sat for a while, and had some dried meat and some water, Jake motioned for her to stand up. "Let's show you how that gun works, lass," he said,. Yet, at the same time, they sounded likea phrase that could become strangely familiar."Let's face it, sissy. You have always wanted to be fucked...to be madeto feel like a woman. Haven't you?"That was not my wife talking. By now the familiar sound of waterrunning through pipes in our ceiling and walls told me she was upstairsin the shower. And, the entire weight room was visible to me in thefloor-to-ceiling mirrors in front of me. No - I was definitely alone.It was my alter ego that was. The veterans, those who had been out since '14, no longer believed in victory in the conventional sense. Phillip had formed the view that the war would go on, consuming men and money until the Great Powers finally ran out of both. Yet already the newspaper talk was of another 'Big Push' next year when the New Armies recruited by Lord Kitchener would be ready for action. More madness.He had made his journey home by stages. From the battalion aid post he had been taken by solid-tyred ambulance.