We talked a bit about my relationships and my confusion about Jennifer and Katt, as well as Joyce, Elyse, and Kathy. She tried to keep it hidden, but ... could tell she was uncomfortable. Perhaps Bethany, unlike Sofia, couldn’t maintain a platonic relationship with me.It dawned on me that I might have miscalculated. It had been Sofia that had put an end to our sexual relationship, but in this case, it had been me. I had made a serious error in judgment and now I had to figure out what to do about. It was a schedule alright even giving the times she would be allowed food, drink or to urinate, it was so precise it made her shudder as she read the thing, noting there was no time allotted for sleep or rest. There in black and white was her life and misery for the next day mapped out for her, clinical and unfeeling, she read it from the top again, as she was to do over and over all night, it was to taunt her knowing that whatever pain she was bearing now was nothing as to what he had in. " Are you arguing with yourself again?" Joyce had a lot of concern in her voice when she asked her question."You can call it that. I'm trying to decide some things. Whatever I decide, it will open up some doors and close a few others. I'm making up my mind about what kind of life I'm planning to live. Whatever I decide, I need to be sure this time before I go ahead with it."When I got to the house in Ridgeline, Joyce wasn't at home. Shirley was there though, and she opened the door to greet me.. The portable phone, its black finish a sharp contrast to the white tile floor that it laid upon. The water that dripped off her hair, onto her shoulders, and down her body.The whole world froze. In that instant, in that minute -- it seemed like hours, that we had been sitting on the floor -- I finally admitted to myself, and to April, what had been tearing at my heart all this time."I love you too, April."She closed her eyes, tilted her head just barely to the side, and kissed me gently. Then.