I found I'd driven to the farm on autopilot. The road was overgrown, the house shielded from the road by woods that hadn't been cleared ina long time....I suppose it figured, the place had only ever been marginal, that was why it had folded in the first place. With so manylarger and more modern places going for a song it seemed hardly surprising that it was still empty. For a crazy second I even thoughtof buying it back, you know as a gesture to dad, but then good sense prevailed.I suppose it was. He just came and sat near me on the last bench and to our luck no one else had come till then. When he came and sat near me I could smell all the sweat on him mixed with some cologne it was different but the smell and his leg touching my legs was getting me really excited. I had a single hair clip which had held my hair together he just removed that hair clip which led my hair loose I was breathing really heavy now his face came near my neck I could feel his break on the sides of my neck and. In the dream world I was far wiser than in the real world. Answers were easy. Lucid dreamers are aware that we are dreaming. It is one reason my "willing suspension of disbelief" is so difficult to achieve while watching movies. Normal humans enter a hypnotic state when watching movies—and the Bab Lab indicates that our primate cousins, the Olive Baboon, do the same. It's easier to willingly suspend disbelief when hypnotized. Memory is state-dependent for me. I have to be in the same mind frame. Bondage at the time was merely a game to me, a game that I wished to become stronger and more frequent in my life; I continued to wish till I grew up into an adolescent (at time very early from my peers) and my thoughts changed. I was no longer satisfied with the stunts I did with my friends or the fantasy world I lived in inside my mind, I needed the real thing. I came into contact with the fact that there are lifestyles for people like me who loved to be tied but from where I come from and my.