By Sunday, we got ready to make the trip back to New Jersey and dad pulled me aside, saying, "Try to keep closer tabs on your sister, son. Her mother ...ells me that her roommate is a lesbian. That's the last thing she needs right now!"I promised to comply. Since I knew Amy wasn't a lezbo, this would be easy.On the trip back, I asked Naomi why she lied to mom about Amy.Sis said, "If I told mom the truth - that Amy whores herself around just to get her jollies, they might pull me out of college.". .Driving looking for a place to stop we see a light, at first I am glad when I see the light hoping that it's a decent motel but then it lifts up and , as I lock the brakes we all see that it's one of those flying saucers, Not being a stupid movie character I do what intelligent people should do, I hit reverse spun the suburban around and tried to haul ass (thinking great Kimmy see the sites, what could happen... d'oh aliens!), but then the aliens trump me by using a tractor beam, tires don't. Living on the edge teaches you not to be picky!He squirmed under my glare in what was either a brilliant imitation of a straight man being hit on by a homosexual or the real thing. Letting him off the hook I said:"I'll have your cheapest room and a bottle of you finest Scotch." I had no intention of staying in or paying for the room, but I had standards to uphold. He seemed nonplussed and started tipping on his computer. The card I gave him turned out to be valid, but I had expected no less. I. Mysto. I'm a dead shot for any target within 40 feet, and I can usually hit what I'm aiming at up to easily 100 feet. Also, I can draw pretty fast from my shoulder holster. I have learned to fight with my fists, so I think that I could be a pretty good bodyguard. If I have to, I can use a knife, too." Dr. Mysto is my stage name, you kin call me Jake. My real name is Jake Mullins. Are ya willing ta travel all over creation, wherever my medicine show takes us?"I nodded, so Jake continued, "OK,.