’ ‘Funny Face,’ several of the children cried out, and then argued over who said it first. At the end of the year for the Kindergarten class pr...gram the class put on a circus. Janice, of course, wore a tutu and was a ‘tightrope walker’, actually a chalk line on the floor, some of the boys were ‘strong men’, one was a ‘lion tamer’ with other children as ‘lions.’ Funny Face was, . . . . . . a clown. It was in the Fourth Grade that Janice, seemingly working hard to perfect her role as a royal. “So tomorrow at ten please!” said Katie, for verisimilitude, standing up as Suzie returned to her desk. I looked down and nodded, aware that my cheeks were warm and note doubt rosy pink. “What was that about?” said Suzie. “Oh just a report,” I said. “You shouldn’t let her order you about, she’s not even our boss!” “I know. She’s all right though,” I said. “All right? You’ve changed your attitude.” “Well, I just don’t want any friction.” Friction, when it came to Katie was unavoidable,. When I was in Juniors, about 11 years old, we all went on this camping trip. Well, we get to this campsite and it’s surrounded by woods, and going down from the site is this one HUGE hill. Like this is a long, long hill and we felt almost like we were camping on a small mountain! And one of the girls that I was going to be in a little cabin with, her name was Donna, goes, ‘Wow, this looks like that scene from ‘Jason Goes to Hell’ where he’s chasing those people right before he kills them!!’. I felt the hot wetness on my own desire dripping from between my legs and knew that he would be watching for that. Could I stop it if I wanted or was I too far gone? Did I want him to see it so that I got punished? Those two simple words rattling around my head 24 hours a day – “Punish me”. Do I live for me, for him, for sex or for the sweet pain. I know that my pain is not excessive, it is not scarring mentally or physically, it is not unbearable, it is just aimed at my own tolerance.