It was thought.I imagined the process as tearing down detour signs in her mind. Setting them up had been second nature. Finding them, pulling them awa..., was excruciatingly precise. I felt like I was inches away from finding clumps of brain and yanking the whole thing open.How bad could this go? Could I make her a vegetable? Give her a stroke? I started shaking. I tried to focus on the variations of her irises. I didn’t breathe evenly.“Garth, let me hold him.” She said. Dad let go and her hands. Two minutes later we were trooping toward the rest rooms. Traci jogged on ahead. When we got to the building I stepped toward the men's side, but Robbie and Darlene hooked their arms in mine and turned me the other way. Traci was sitting on a bench outside the women's showers. She nodded, and the girls pulled me in.The first thing I noticed was no graffiti on the walls. The men's side was covered in it, most of it sexual or sexual innuendo. The second was all the girls getting undressed. Tami. . maybe someone would get lucky again!Charles and Diana walked over to the same Roulette table he'd gotten lucky at on their honeymoon, but he didn't get any gut feelings this time so he didn't waste his chips. Instead, they went to a Blackjack table and sat to play for a while. They didn't win big, but they didn't lose their money, either. Tom and Lynda came and joined them after about thirty minutes and did about as well as they did.At about four o'clock, Charles and Tom heard the sounds of a. Carlie. I was afraid of having to go thru the agony I'd experienced at losing Carlie, times three.Kinda stands to reason, doesn't it? The only person in your life you ever fully committed to, and look what losing her did to you. Why wouldn't you be afraid of that happening again?But now I was about as fully committed as a person could ever be, and there was no way I was going to be able to escape...Unless... You wish. Her death didn't kill you so it's not very likely theirs will either. What's.