’Ten weeks of constant frustration!Ten weeks of denial and pain!Ten weeks of being teased by this relentlessly cruel bitch!‘Look darling, pantyhos... with no knickers. Come and have a look,’ Alice murmured, sitting on the sofa.Alice knew I was powerless to resist, of course, perhaps that was how Alice got her fun but I had to look.Slowly, I fell to my knees and crawled over to the sofa. She had trained me well.Alice put both legs on the sofa and I stared at the silken beige pantyhose that. I'll behave myself. Just one little kiss, please?" he begged teasingly."Then will you let go of me?" I asked, stringing him on just a little."I promise. One little kiss, and your name, and I'll let you go," he swore with his hand in the air like a Cub Scout. What could I do? I kissed him. I tried to kiss his cheek but he was too fast and shifted so my lips met his perfectly and he again strengthened his grasp while he pushed his tongue past my lips and into my mouth. I struggled a bit, but only. And then there are those very few of us who, for some reason or another, have rejected that paternalistic religious power trip.In my case, it happened on a trip to Jamaica, on my honeymoon. Luckily, towards the end of the honeymoon, after my husband had broken my hymen, then squirted inside me, then collapsed asleep beside me. He did this once every night for the first week, then every second night for the second week, always in the same position, dripping sweat onto me while I was. I tried to remember everything about her that I could. I could see her face, her smile, and her eyes. I tried to remember her smell. That was a little harder to do. I went to my suitcase and pulled out a scarf that she had given me. I held it up to my nose and breathed in deeply. It was her smell.I longed to hold her close and feel the warmth of her breath. I knew that was not possible, but I could still dream. I pulled out my camera and gazed at a few of the pictures I had taken. They helped.