He did not answer the door except to the postman or other deliveries of which there were few.Emotionally his feelings varied from numbness to distress...and loss, but along with that there was a nameless ache. It informed what he wrote. Some songs were aggressively dismissive, others plaintiff, still others embracing a new start without one's love. Looking back, he recognised it as one of the most productive times of his life.Towards the end of his exile, he noted increasingly frequent attempts. Faster faster fasterOh yes yes yesI just love thisOh yesssAh ah ooooooohhh yesssSuddenly I uttered: Rio, condoms?Just don’t bother, release in me. I got I – pills too.Just faster faster fasterAhhh ahShe kept moving up and down faster and faster and I kept pushing her hips back and forthAaaahhhhbbhbb aaaaanhhhbbhOoooooooohhhh ooohhhAhhh ahhOoooohhbhhhhhhhhhAhhh ahhhAnd we both simultaneously collapsed in each other’s arms. She fell on top of me in arms and I had all my juices released in her.. She looks up at me and says; " Daddy do you think we could have a glass of chocolate milk before we go to bed? PLEEEAASSSE!" I allready know what is in store for tonight, so it doesn't take much for me to say yes. I tell her; " Ok, and would she make mine for me while I went to the bathroom?" She looks up at me and smiles and says; "Ok daddy I'll be glad to." I head into the bathroom, giving her time to make my choclate milk and put the pills in my drink. I return and she gives me my glass,. 2 baj gaye the maine socha wo so gayi hogi.. mai dhire se janeki koshish kar raha tha tabhi wo boli “kutte our thoda..”, mai firse chatne laga. meri jibh our muh bhi thak gaye tha aur book bhi lagi thi. thodi der bad wo sogayi. mai apne room mai gaya. subah jaldi uthke unkeliye breakfast banana tha aur kaam par bhi jana. maine mere room ka darvaza bad kiya. thabhi mere mobile par whatsaap pe Sakshi ki messege ai. “meri gand kaun chatega kutte.. jaldi aaja..” mai frustrate ho gaya tha.Mai Sakshi.