Now i'm an adult, and as i look back on the experience, i kind of enjoyed it. Not being separated form my mom and dad, but their pathetic shitheads an...way so, i really dont care. Sorry, you dont need to hear my shit life. Anyway,, on the the story. My mom was a drunken coke addect, and my dad was never around. And when he was around, he would beat me, and my brothers, saying that he didnt want us to end up like my mom. Like that would ever happen. So one day, my and my brothers were playing. He says how nice it was of Tiff to offer up the gun in exchange forkeeping her good looks! The gun is an old snub-nosed pistol and he hasalready checked the bullet chamber to clear out any bullets. In fact,he mentions to me that he didn't find any bullets for it, but that itreally didn't matter if he did, as he'd never let me have a loaded gunin the first place. Besides, bullets wouldn't do me much good anyway,as he noticed that the firing pin was gone.He tells the others to go get my clothes. I decided I better help get this day on track. I slowly began to stir and gave out a big yawn and stretch as I appeared oblivious to my surroundings. I sat up and looked at my father who was staring at me."Sara" he said rather sternly, "we gotta talk." Ummmm... Okay then" I replied"Listen honey, about last night..." he struggled to get the words out.I just sat and stared up at him with the puppy dog eyes. Waiting for him to continue."I don't know where to begin" he continues."It was wrong and I. " But I have been." But ... why?"I sighed."It's hard to explain. But I think that in some fundamental part of me,I'm a girl. But I can never be seen as one."For a while afterward, there was silence.Then Helva said, "When I first decided I wanted to sing, someone mighthave told me it was impossible. Yet I found a way. Can you find a way tobe seen as a girl? What makes me a girl that you can't do?"Her saying that cut through my pity-party and got me thinking like ashell-person again."I ... could.