"I reached for her jeans as she unsnapped them. Her thighs were a little thick, but I was certainly happy with the fact that her landing strip was nea...ly trimmed. I began to kiss my way down Chelsea's stomach only to find her body stiffening."Charley, I don't usually do that." You don't?" I get really self-conscious." About what?" You know, the odor and I hate my thighs."I sat straight up."Chelsea, you have a beautiful body and I absolutely know that you don't smell."I kissed her softly on the. “Her ass is amazing,” I heard the other boy say. I saw my reflection in the mirror and I really couldn’t disagree with the boy. I worked hard for my ass and it looked amazing when I wore yoga pants or less.“Cut that out,” my son said.“Just stating facts,” one of them said. I shook my head and smiled at that comment. I didn’t know the two boys very well and this was my first real impression of them. They changed the conversation and I went back into my room to continue reading my book. I had. Yet, recently, at the urging of friends, I had joined Match.com and had been on a string of dates and one-night stands. I had hired an 18-year old named Lacy to take care of my 5-year old daughter. She was very good with the c***d and I paid her handsomely for her efforts. Lacy was a very homely girl with a severe case of acne. As a result, in my dealings with her, she was very shy and made little eye contact. Yet, from the neck down she had the body of a nubile Goddess...pert, mouthful sized. .. Handlebar?" He's at the morgue in Pittsburgh. I want a first class funeral for him," Lucy said."Okay, I'll get Sandra started on making the arrangements right now," Barbara said. She had never thought that one of the first tasks they'd be given was to arrange a funeral."We'll need to have a tombstone carved. I want one with his face on it," Lucy said. His handlebar mustache was going to live forever even if people didn't know who he was."Anything else?" Hold on," Lucy answered. She turned to.