Something bad. 3:39 3:40 3:41 Just keep watching the numbers on the clock. Control your panic. Breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. K...ep breathing. I hear movement again. Partly a rustle, partly a scrape. I think maybe he’s touching the door with the gun. What the fuck is he doing out there? It’s been over an hour since I heard him yell. Why doesn’t he just get it over with? Just fucking kill me now? I’d rather be dead than this scared! Just do it, motherfucker!. That presented another problem of sorts. There was only one changing room for the Lifeguards and I was the only male Lifeguard that summer.Debbie said, “Fuck it! I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”I smiled and together we stripped out of our street clothes and into our Lifeguard uniforms. I had never felt so naked before but apparently Debbie was quite at home in a thong.The setup was for four Lifeguards to be on duty with the fifth one giving us breaks and allowing us to change position.. I grabbed her wrists and held on for dear life. Our arms were outstretched and doing that brought our bodies back together. She wassmiling and I leaned in to kiss her. Just as our lips met her icy buckletouched my belly and I gasped again. I let go of her hands and her armswent outside the robe and around my waist as mine went around her neckand into her hair. Her lips were cold but her warm tongue slipped into mymouth and I moaned around it. We stood there kissing for a couple ofminutes. When. None of this ever got any easier. I never felt any less like a fool or sissy dressed in those ways. The toys never stopped aching. The periods, be they hours or days or weeks, when I was not allowed to cum never got any less frustrating or painful. The only thing that happened, I suppose, is that I knew they were worth it.The gift of her gaze never stopped being an incredible rush. I came to think of her smiles as her expression of care for me, even perhaps a kind of love. I felt what I came to.