Barely larger than a finger really!For few months I kept fucking myself with it and eventually I felt the need to try a real cock. Again I was not att...acted to men... I wanted a cock. I discovered gay adds on the internet and eventually talked with an old guy and we met at his place. It was understood that we would go straight to the point, that I would suck him and if I was feeling like it, I'd let him fuck me.It was a terrible experience... not the one that traumatize you, just a sad first. He seemed so lost . . . almost like a little boy . . .’ The man wanted to reach out to her, wanted to hold on to his humanity for a while longer, but the strong arms of the vortex reached out for him and pulled him back into the maelstrom . . . He felt the arc of her breathing as his body lifted gently on the swells of her breath, and he felt himself falling just as quickly within the rhythms of her life. He felt her fur on the side of his face, and the putrescent smell of her wounds, and yet. , all about it, and each time she recounted it she embellished the tale. It hadn't been a particularly fun time for yours truly.But that incident had just been the culmination of a long period of our growing apart. When she had grown older, when finally at twelve or thirteen her thoughts and interests had turned to make-up and boys and clothes and telephone conversations, she had found a younger brother trailing after her like a puppy increasingly irritating.I didn't understand of course.. Now go upstairs and get some sleep. You're going to have an interesting day tomorrow."Jamie offered once more to do something for John, but he smiled and said he had a very beautiful woman waiting for him upstairs, and despite the temptations of a precocious teenager, he was saving himself for that 'older' woman in the bedroom.John went upstairs with Jamie, and left her at his bedroom door. He kissed her on the forehead, and bid her goodnight. Jamie went to her room and wondered if she would.