.. I want you to promise me something ... can you do that? Can you make me a promise?"I blinked furiously, and ran the back of my sleeve under my nose...with s snuffling sound. I managed a nod, and watched as tears started to roll down his red cheeks."Son ... don't be like I was. Don't throw your life away like I did. It's just not worth it. I missed out on so much ... I missed out on so many precious minutes with you ... with your Momma ... I just missed out on so much LIFE ... and it's not. She looked like a million dollars in a black sheath dress with slits that revealed a long shapely leg with each step. She hooked her arm in mine and gave me a kiss on the cheek and then together we walked and talked while viewing the artwork and meeting the artists. The urge for a smoke sent us onto the terrace on the roof that had been converted into a smoking lounge. I lit her cigarette and she thanked me. I then produced a half filled bottle of wine that I had snagged off the bar and. "Tonight I have a friend coming over to watch the football, he's been single for a little while and isn't fussy when it comes to his women, he's even had a shemale before. He thinks I'm a boring kinda guy, he has no idea about this side of my life. He think I work in a boring little office. Well thats the image you're going to help me portray tonight, as you're my office secretary...." He began playing with my hair, and his hand reached on to my thigh again. "I could tie you up in here, and do. I thought for a moment about trying to find my gee that feels good spot with my fingers and having a nice morning wank to pick up my spirits, but then I realized I'd only feel worse afterward. I had to do something to break out of this pattern of fruitless attempts to be the ultimate man and surrendering to the sissy splendor of forbidden fruits.If trying to be a man like my step-father made me feel weak and giving into being a sissy because it seemed easier made me feel guilty, maybe I wasn't.