I wanted to be a girl more than ever. I eventhought about sneaking into the kitchen after everyone was asleep,getting the biggest knife I could find a...d cutting off this thing I hadbetween my legs. That gross thing that kept me from being a girl. LuckilyI never did. I found out later that if I had, it might have prevented mefrom being considered for my SRS.I started having dreams of being a girl and getting married to Steve. Inmy dreams, I would walk down the aisle of the church in a white. Now I am 28. Born and grew up in Singapore. I am about 1.75m and weigh 70kg. Now I have gathered my courage to share my sexual experience with a maid.This took place about 3 years ago I stay in Yishun estate. So one fine day I was at a shop near my house buying stuffs when I saw this maid looking at me. She was Indonesian and had a great figure. She was small built about 1.6m tall and slim but I noticed her boobs were slightly bigger for her size. Her boobs were squashed inside her t-shirt.. In some ways it was exactly the same as the previous time with my sister had been, making mad passionate love rather than just having sex; in other ways it was closer because I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful girl, although of course it lacked that little extra ‘frisson’ of incest that gave Jen and I special excitement. But it was still wonderful for both of us.As I had promised to kiss Jen all over when a suitable opportunity arose, I thought that I’d better. The imagery of the environment is somehow changed by the lack of right angles and parallel lines. I pause to consider how strange yet completely predictable it is that someone would show up just as I am thinking about how empty the place is. Despite my intentionally light step, the floor predictably creaks beneath me just as I step into full view. She turns quickly, and I startle her as well. ‘Wait, what the fuck?’ I ask myself. I recognize her too. Every step I wander and corner I turn.