As I told she used to live with my uncle and family and grandmother. Granny was very old and was not mobile fully. Every weekend my uncle and family g...es to the aunt’s house and then I used to go and stay with my sitthi and granny. This made my desire strong but at the same time I never wanted to hurt her feelings as I loved and respected her. But it became uncontrollable I thought of ways of having sex with her. Her buttocks gave me sleepless nights for me and I masturbated every time I stayed. The temptation was powerful. It's unbelievably difficult to lay there, knowing what's coming and still accept it. But, whatever my fear, I had a deep resolve to show Him how strong I could be. To make Him proud of me and to let Him know how much I desire to be His in every way. I surrendered to my fate, resting my head on the bed and waiting for Him to do as he pleased.“No? You really want this?"Despite His concern, I sensed He was aroused by my submission. His usual desire to protect me was. I think he must have, in his own way. But she left him, and all that bitterness and warped sense of a woman’s place in the world transfered to me. I was—am never good enough for him. And he was just reminding me of that. ‘He threatened to send me back to Morocco to work as basically a slave for his family. Then he called me a whore, and said if I sleep with someone abroad I’m not allowed back in his house.’ I give Leo a watery smile when he grimaces. ‘I fucking hate his house anyway.’ ‘I’m. The need to punch a damn client on his fat asshole nose. Or I sometimes have this urge to get out of my car and smash the face of the man who almost drove into me. I sometimes want to kill someone, lately even someone I thought I loved..."She started. I continued."But you see, Elaine: I did not and I don't. Needs can be suppressed, honey, urges can be overruled. It is called restraint, civilization, decency... love..."Her eyes now begged. Her head sunk between her shoulders. She looked so much.