Without thought, my left hand feels the shoulder bone in my rightshoulder in an effort to punctuate how much bigger and manly my roommateis than me. ... am emasculated, but in awe and admiration of his physiquesending me into doubt over my sexual preferences.With a shock, I can feel my erection growing. Oh, no! This can't beright."I'm not really feeling it right now. Could you help me out?" I stumblethrough my poor excuse and weak request. Again, he looks incredulouslyat me, shakes his head. This guy had asked if they could have dinner. My guy was blushing as he told me this, so I teased him a little about perhaps having had a crush on this man back in the day? His nondenials were so cute! But he was quick to tell me he'd told this guy he is in a relationship.I'm a few years older than my bf. He gets himself needlessly wrapped into emotional knots sometimes, so I rubbed his ankle under the table with my foot and told him to go ahead and schedule dinner, at our place. I smiled at. Sure, it was busy, and sure it was uneventful;but he had never seen so many foreign-looking travellers going throughthe immigration checkpoints at the same time. Surely there should benothing unusual about that since JFK was an international Airport -tourists would be coming and going through Paulson all the time. But,these were no tourists. They were all Americans.Well, according to their passports anyways. Around two to three hundredof them seemed to have valid passports which all checked out. ‘No, I didn’t.’ ‘What the fuck is wrong with you, Darrin? What happened to the guy I met a few days ago? Last night, it was as if I didn’t even know you.’ You don’t, not really. ‘Spence, it’s been so long … ‘ ‘Don’t give me that ‘so long’ bullshit! You were a different person. You were a different person!’ ‘What do you mean?’ ‘You know what I mean! Prostitutes do the same thing when they’re with johns. They become a different person so you don’t really know who they are and you can’t touch.