My plan was to get down in the back seat of her car and when they arrived at his house and were inside, I would find a way to get in a watch them. Lu...kily the back door of the car was unlocked. I then got in and laid down in the floor board of the card. I knew the risk I was taking, as there was at least a better than even odd that I would be discovered the moment they opened the car door, but was willing to take the chance in order to satisfy my voyeur desires. It seemed like it took forever. Me too.”We hung around for a while and then went home. Dad was pretty quiet – he seemed to be thinking about some stuff, so mainly Bonnie and I were talking.I put together a rice and tuna salad which we all had for an early dinner, then we had to go for Bonnie’s teacher conference. Dad threw me the keys and said, “You drive, I’ll sit in the back so that Bonnie can sit up next to you.”So we did that and drove to school, which took all of 5 minutes. As we got out of the car, I stood in front of. An’ I ‘as no cut with Mary, she leaves me ter me kitchen, what suits I. If thee’s askin’ me, if’n that Valentine was goin’ ter murder that sweet boy, young Benjy fforde, an’ teke the girl fer hisself, I ask I-self else why camp on the green, when he ‘ad ‘is own ‘ouse an’ promise o’ ‘ot food ‘n’ a cumfty soft bed but a few steps away?”Yes, why, it looks like Valentine weakened the boy so he would sleep and make it easier to kill his rival for Izote’s honour in his sleep.Fernando rides onto town. It's not you, it's me." As this cliché slipped out, I inwardly cursed myself for being so chicken-shit. But I still wasn't ready to admit what the real problem was.She looked back up at me, her hair wild, her eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't help loving her, her petite form which made me feel strong, her soft yielding flesh which I could feel pressing against me. And I hated myself for loving her and yet not loving her. But she saw none of that. As we bathed in silence, our eyes were.