"Brandee, are you talking to yourself again?" Oh I guess it happened again, Richard." Okay, I might have to whisper so Richard doesn't think I am more...air-headed than I already am. I sometimes think there are people, likereaders of a story, who can somehow hear and see me. Come closer, so whenI talk, Richard can't hear me. Win a Date with Brandee, Adventure # 1: The performance was over and I was still so wide awake from thisparticular gig in Pittsburgh and actually looking forward to being. Every eye in the place was on us as we walked in the front door. I quickly scanned the crowd to see if I could spot the idiot who had let Nan get away. I'd never met him or seen him, but I'd heard enough about him that I was sure I would know him when I saw him. And I did. A tall, well-built, good looking guy was standing in a corner talking to some people I didn't know and I knew immediately it was him. This was confirmed almost immediately when Mary walked up to him and said something and I. I am sorry, Mr. Jones, but your HMO does not pay for enemas. I’m going to have to slap the shit out of you.One old lady to another: I went to my HMO Dr. today.Other lady:I think our doctor is an HMO, but Frank thinks he’s straight.The seven dwarves of menopause: bitchy, itchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho.Why we love children!!A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.Because I just pissed in its ear and. Stuart grabbed a big wad of toilet paper, not knowing the amount he needed, and dabbed his new private parts. He didn't even know if he was supposed to just wipe the pubic hair or actually go between the pink lips he now possessed but judging by the wetness he felt down there he decided on the latter.'You took your time,' Jade said and her mother flashed her a warning look.'So sue me,' Stuart replied understandably sullenly as he slumped back down into a kitchen chair. 'I've never had a....