I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't ... just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet. I guess it was from looking at the on-line sites that were the source of my extensive collection of toys (ahem, ‘marital aids’ as the catalog charmingly described them) that I also developed an appreciation, fascination and love of fine lingerie and provocative clothing. Not being brave enough (at that time) of going to stores like Victoria Secrets or some of the more down market establishments that catered for such wear I soon found myself clicking and filling the virtual shopping cart with. This would be her ‘swimwear’. To cover this up, she got the white Nymph top and white Unchained mini skirt. She had been tanning in the nude all spring, so she had no worries about mismatched tan lines. She expected the white cloth to really pop on her bronze skin. She paid the extra for two day shipping to ensure she got these in time. She hoped to knock Dave’s socks, or better yet his shorts, off with her new birthday outfit.*****Monday evening Dave went online and checked the weather. ‘Wait there for a moment, I’ll have to get some change…’ ‘I’ve got change…’ ‘Enough for a fifty…?’ ‘Oh no, I suppose not…’ ‘Ok, Stay right there, I’ll be back in a second…’ I left her standing on the doorstep and made my way down the hall to my bedroom to where I knew I had some loose change on my bedside table. My mind was in a whirl. I had her to myself at last! Oh Sweet Jesus, was this really, finally happening? How could I get her to stay for a while? How long could I keep her talking?.