"If you take care of it too much more, you're going to have another mess to clean up," Amber retorted."So John, Jaz told me you just graduated. What d... you plan on doing now?" We talked for awhile about school, and I found out that Dixie was studying to be a nurse, Amber wanted to be an accountant, and Geo hadn't made up her mind yet, only taking generals. I had a couple more drinks, and was really beginning to feel a nice buzz, when Geo pulled out a blunt and to my surprise, lit it and started. And, yes, I know what each letter means." Well, I didn't mean it like every letter, you know, the 'F' part." You mean you wouldn't want to fuck me, Jay?" Oh, no, no, I didn't mean that, I meant that I might have used a different word, that's all." Well, why don't you tell me how you think you would have liked to say it, then."She was smiling at me so I guessed she wasn't angry, I thought a second, then replied, "Um, well, I guess I would have said that you're a mom that I'd like to make love. She didn’t want to see him again. Her voice shook as she started to talk. She told him that yes she did love him, but she knew that this was not the time for that love. She wanted him in her life always, and wanted to be in his life. She told him that she was woman enough to be his friend, to be there for him when he needed her. She told him that he made her feel things that she hadn’t felt in a long time. He made her feel good about herself again, and made her see that she was worth loving.. It was warm and breezy. She drew on her cigarette, telling herself for the umpteenth time that she should give them up, and drank from her glass of pinot noir she’d taken with her from the table. Suddenly she was not alone. He was there beside her, also drinking pinot noir she noticed, and shaking a cigarette from a pack he’d drawn from his suit pocket. “It’s a nuisance this, isn’t it,” he said. “Having to drag yourself outside to perform what used to be a perfectly natural act but which is.