That's a lot to process. Shit. I guess we should have been discussing my death more, but frankly, the only way I can continue is to block it out of my...mind. If I concentrate on my own death, on what it implies and what it'll be like and especially what it'll do to Cate and everyone else, I'm afraid I'll freeze up and be unable to continue with what I need to do. Frankly, I feel whoever is behind all of this, whether otherworldly spirits or some unknown god, is purposely allowing me to block it. He was very close, and that was unusual for such a deserted type of beach.He was wearing a very skimpy bathing suit --- it looked like one of those things that Olympic divers wear. He had a hard on. It was very obvious, very plainly visible. I had noticed it when he first approached. I wondered why he was so excited.He suddenly lifted his ass off of the little beach chair and pulled down his bikini bottoms. He just jerked them down, letting his hard dick jump up and throb against his belly.He. There have been times when I thought I was in love with her. She is super cute. I really want to fuck her. God! I want to fuck her.Am I gay? How can I be gay? I don't even like this guy. He is a total ass hole. I looked down at him. My cock was ready to go again. I needed to suck his cock. I got on the floor on my knees and dragged him to the edge of the bed, my face between his legs. He was shocked and excited. He sat up watching me go down on him. Am I gay? No way! I hate this fucking guy. I. "Sure, I'll be right back," I said."OK, thanks again," Angel replied.I left and went to change. I just put on some nicer clothes and some deodorant as well. It was a weird request, but maybe this would be a pass to get somewhere with her. So I changed and came back to her apartment. I sat on the couch and heard her calling."Hey Joe, can you come into my room real quick?" Angel asked loudly."Sure," I replied loudly.Then I came in her room and she was just in her panties with no bra, so I covered.