Reaching out with my hand I made as if to stroke her cheek, but all I felt was the cool cotton of the pillow in the empty space next me. There was no ...ne there. There never was anyone there.She was gone.Life was different now, since that day. I still had my job, my profession if not quite the same level of income. After Red and I had returned from our time in Gran Canaria it had taken me so long to move forward in my head, that over time I had wound down my private practice. I now performed. With a nod, “In the livingroom.” Tanya’s best friend was fun to be around, but she had this tendency tostay long into the evening, and I wanted to spend this one quietly,cuddledin front a fire, teasing, kissing and caressing Tanya. If Karen washere,there was doubt that we’d have that fire. As I walked back to the bedroom, I stopped by the living room door tosayhello to Karen who jokingly told me that I had to be dry before she’dgive mea kiss. I thought about that. Once when he wasdressed in his female clothing, the thought occurred to her that maybeshe could not only give him a Father`s Day present, but also a Mother'sDay present, as she at times felt she had two Mums.They laughed and cried when she said, "Maybe I do have two Mums."-o-0-o-Remember that day? We walked along the street and you told me you lovedto dress as a woman - it didn't matter to me, you were still my Dad nomatter how you dressed.Trying to get you to let me see you dressed as my other. Spell check. Grammar check. I noticed my speaking patterns came to match Dr. Gupta's hatred of contractions and adverbs. By Thanksgiving, I was feeling good. He told me to set it aside til after finals. Like Forest Gump and money, it was one less thing to worry about.After my last final, we met in Dr. Gupta's office for tea. He had family in Sumatra, India. They would send him a quarter pound of local product every month, which is a lot of tea. One of our rituals was to use some of it. I still.