What is going to get that under control. I can't deal with that again Peg. Sure I fucked around a lot too but my brain was in control, not my cock. An... you could have stopped me at anytime. I thought I could you too... but I guess not."She started crying again and said, "I know John, I know."I told her I would call again soon and for her to take care of herself and hung up.I poured myself into work and tried not to think of the hurt that was growing and growing. I missed my wife.By 5 we were. Gotta study," he says, grabbing his foodtray and almost running away.I sigh and finish my food, trying to ignore the pain in my stomach and myarousal.---It's my final class of the day and I'm still fucking turned on from areally brief moment with my best friend.Possibly because I can't stop thinking about it. About how natural itfelt. About how strong his hand felt when it wrapped mine.I cross my legs, then uncross them, then cross them with the oppositelegs.This is too much.I gingerly rub some. Much like other departments had sent personnel to New York after 9/11, the NYPD sent people up to offer whatever assistance they could.I was able to write clearly, assemble and explain data and do so quickly. It soon became mind-numbingly boring, but I was assigned to interview everyone the BPD and the JTTF wanted me to, write up a succinct analysis of the discussion and help others who had limited writing skills to do the same. It was twelve-hour days, far from home and without anyone I knew,. Some had more value than others. Needs and wants sometimes gave way but curiosity was paramount.Over time, a shape 'john' was associated with the pattern of sound. The john shape was noticed fairly often. Along with this apparition a feeling of need arose, but it was not mine or not quite. How could this be?The john shape brought warmth, contentment, fulfilment, and completeness. These were things I wanted.Sounds and feelings came together, making patterns that could be deciphered. This usually.