The big back pushed us back past mid-field. Jerrold MacGee appeared to run another zone read to his right. Darian Newton, LaVonn Dixon and Mike Keller...had the play diagnosed. They trapped MacGee in the backfield. He coolly looped the ball to Torrey Smith on the far sideline. It was actually a screen play. Torrey whizzed down the sideline behind his blocking. Barry Lee Smith and Joe Stewart pushed Smith out of bounds around our 5 yard line.Our defense was upset. They repulsed two Rick Williams. Some more background first:When I was in college from 1995 to 1998 I enjoyed a porn addict's heaven on Yonge St in downtown Toronto. I would sometimes spend whole days going from one porn store with either a small "theatre" or video booths, to a strip club to another porn store or strip club. There were several of each with in a few blocks.One store in particular became my favourite store to go to. It was actually the very first adult store I had ever been to when I first went inside in the. You did that so well before. I'm sure you can manage to do it again."Mama was telling me what I needed to do. While she claimed not to be taking sides in my dispute with Joyce, it was obvious that she was more comfortable with Joyce being in control than with me being the one in charge. Everyone kept making excuses for Joyce.Joyce had changed too, in the three years I'd been gone, but no one seemed to realize that but me. As soon as I had that thought, I understood a lot better what I needed to. Strangely, thankfully, I think she understood - as she looked soberly back at me. Softly Diana finally asked, "Tell me what you need mom?"Taking a deep breath first I answered as calmly as I could, "I need to be controlled." She didn't move or say a word - did she really understand? "All I want is to forget everything and focus only on pleasing one person." Finally Diana nodded but doubted that anyone could understand. I've tried to come to grips with my desires for years and I still didn't.