I wanted to tell you that at lunch, but when I saw you and how happy you were and those big brown eyes looking at me so carefree, I didn’t want to r...in it. I know what we have, truly I do. It’s purely sexual. And I really thought I was able to separate sex from feelings. I thought if I could have sex like a man purely to just have sex without guilt, feelings or emotions, it would be fun. But I’m finding the more time I spend with you the more I cannot be that man. You are not like my other. We drove for what seemed like an hour. We turned off the main road and Mistress Rebecca said, “It’s going to be bumpy for a while.”Finally, we stopped. I heard her say "Hi” to someone outside. The sliding door beside me was opened. “Jacqui, this is chris. He’s our special guest tonight.”“I hope chris is tougher than the last one,” Jacqui said. Then, she helped me out of the seat. I was still blindfolded. They gave me a heavy suitcase to carry.“Straight ahead to my ‘studio,’” I heard. ” It took us a moment and then all three of us broke up.“You don’t really wait up for her like that, do you?” I asked Andi.“Not like that! What would her date think if he saw her mother looking like that?”“Well, maybe I overdid it with the curlers,” Cali laughed. “Anyway, I’m going to bed now so you two can kiss goodnight. Just don’t stand out there on the porch where all the neighbors can see you.”“‘Night, Cali.”“‘Night. Love you, Mom. Love you, Dag.” She kissed each of us on the cheek and. Mark and Chris shouldn't have let me do that stuff. They should be watching me better, I thought. But that wasn't fair either and I was only mad at them for a second. I was really confused and only because I was lonely."Lucy, I'm home!" Mark was coming through the door, carrying some food for me, a sandwich and chips and a soda from a small deli that was nearby."Hey." I smiled at him, wanting to be in the good mood they deserved. I'd already taken three aspirins and that had helped. "Goody! Now.