" She shook her head. "But, I can't help but want to do to him exactly what I said."Meggan calmed down. "I know. I do, too. I'm just afraid I'm going ...o end up dead at his hands. I worry about it all the time. I don't know how long I can live with that worry." She sighed. "I think of suicide more and more lately."Jessie looked at her. "Maybe you need to be suicidal." Meggan just stared at her. Sophia gasped. Jessie just went on. "Get to the point where you're going to do it. Get right to that. .. including cleaning a shotgun on the kitchen table one night when I brought Janet home.It came to a head two years after Janet got out of HS. One night I took her out to eat at Dinosaur’s Ribs and just as they brought out dessert, did the take-a-knee bit and asked her to marry me. She hopped up and down, squealing and crying at the same time but did manage to say, “Yes.” When we got her home, she called her folks into the kitchen to show off her new ring. Mom was all smiles and tears. Dad. Nancy didn’t understand what I was doing at first when I rolled onto my side. Once I did, it was less than a minute before she was explaining to her stepsister at the top of her lungs what I was doing to her and that I’d better plan to do it again, soon. “Nnnnnoooooooooo,” she squealed when my lubricated finger violated her backside at the start of her orgasm. Her protest fell silent when she passed out.“What did you do to her?” Dawn demanded.“He made her pass out from coming so hard,” Pam. Fifteen minutes later, another suit, a woman this time, entered. She was wanted to know how I was going to pay for my medical expenses. I started having dark thoughts in regards to the American health care system. My time in Germany had spoiled me. I was the victim of an attempted kidnapping, and the hospital was more worried about their bottom line. I handed her Mike’s card and told her to bill the State Department. That shut her up, and she walked away quickly. Fuck her, I thought.I’d been in.