They faded down the stairs."Listen to me." Mother called after him.The next thing I heard was myself, sobbing. I slumped to the floor and my head fell...against the door. Mother must have heard."Jules, honey, it'll be all right." She walked away, following Rodney.I spent the rest of the morning in my room. Only hunger drove me to the kitchen. Mother wasn't around. I saw Rodney hacking out the weeds in our back yard. It looked like he wasn't being too picky about what was a weed and what wasn't.I. I keep playing through what I did or where I went wrong but I keep coming blank then swap into these horrible bouts of self-loathing for not doing better at whatever the fuck was wrong. I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might. And how, exactly, did I feel about that?" Yeah," Roy said. "Something called -- I probably can't pronounce it right -- something like 'Shewn Brooste, ' -- or something like that?"Shoon Brewst?" I repeated."It's in German," Roy said again. "I think it means, like, 'nice tits, ' or something like that." But -- you said there's a picture?" There's a shitload of pictures!" Roy said. "Page after page, apparently! Living color! Christ, leave it to you two to go to a nude beach!" Pictures of Tess?. He kisses me there... down there," and she signaled with eyes and fingers that she meant between her legs."I'm a lot older than you, Cindy. And I know it maybe isn't really what I should do but," and as he spoke Jim's hand slid between her thighs and the girl spread them wider apart inviting further intimacy. "I shouldn't do this but you're a very beautiful girl and I want to kiss you so very, very much. You've let your boyfriend do it so I won't be leading you astray... God will understand..
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