“Look, you scurry back home and I will go this way and enjoy the morning.”He walked off and I followed him my eyes for a while. I was burning insi...e, I hadn’t been treated like a little kid in years and now this asshole had. God, I wanted to say something to him, but instead I went home with blushed cheeks and my fists at my side.My parents had left a note that they had gone to town to the supermarket. My dad’s telescope stood on the porch. He loved to watch the stars at night. I turned it. I have the day off so I'll be home alone. Once I get back there, that is.” He shook his head and gave a wry smile.I looked at him for a few moments and decided to take the plunge. “When this traffic jam is over,” I said, “do you wanna grab a coffee at the North Starbucks?”He gazed up at me and quickly said, “Sure, sounds good.”That’s when the vehicles ahead of me started to move and I said, “See you later, then.” I got to Starbucks in ten minutes. I bought coffee and sat at a booth in the. But sitting there among these women gain reinforced my shame - I couldnever be one of them, but they would never see me as a male either.Again the shame and the excitement in tandem!I started to take more and more risks to achieve the excitement andhumiliation I was seeking. Going out in daylight to shopping centres,cafes, straight bars and cinemas fully dressed. I started to wear moredaring outfits.I loved self humiliation. I loved going out in public with a bra obviousunder my shirt and sheer. Like most girls growing-up, the surrender of ones virginity, is always a romantic ideal, for most in reality, it's a brutal encounter, with a high percentage of unpleasantness, but for the few, that night was a mixture of dreamlike fantasy and perfect timing, I was scantily dressed, the teasingly stride I adopted, my longish and toned legs adorned with the merest of cotton panties, hi-cut sitting atop my hips, dipping down front and nestling low upon my pubic bone, shorn of any signs of.